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I spent Friday night and all of Saturday in Gainesville with The Chelsea Bee. Bless her heart, she has made the I-75 trudge down to Tampa for something around 37 consecutive weekends, so the least I could do was mix in a trip back up there. Of course, once football season rolls around, I'll be up there all the time. Anyway, her dog Sierra had six seperate episodes of diarrhea, all in the apartment, in the 24 hours leading up to my visit. I suggested that The Bee simply move to a new place by the time I got there Friday night, but she's the type that likes to plan ahead and the notice was too short, so I lowered my head and plowed through what I thought would be a weekend's worth of knee-deep shit. Luckily, The Bee had the place sparkling by the time I got there. I felt bad for her, since if it had been me, I would've simply put sheets of vomit on top of the already soiled carpet. I don't do shit, in more ways than one.
It turns out the it was the Tropicana Dome where I would have to wade through shit, because on Sunday I got back to town and hit the Devil Rays-Red Sox game at the Trop with Drew and Poppy. What a bunch of fucking turds these Red Sox fans are. Growing up in Tampa as a native, you become inured at a young age to all of the people around town who are from another place. It doesn't bother you normally. In fact, we NEED these people. They are repsonsible for the explosive growth of my fair hometown that I hold so dear. But it does bother you in one particular setting - sporting events in town where the home team is terrible. In a sold-out crowd of 35,000 at this game, I would estimate 20-22,000 were Red Sox fans. Of those 22,000, I would say 75% fell into the category of "Massholes", as they have come to be known. I fucking hate Boston accents and basically their whole culture, which is based apparently on leaving their beloved hometown to live in ours while simultaneously singing the praises of almighty Boston. This describes the culture of a lot of other cities, come to think of it. Well, fuck Boston. And fuck these people:
MassholesDo you see? Do you see what has to be put up with? Imagine 20,000 of these parasites at a game in which YOUR team is supposed to be the home team. I blame the Devil Rays entirely, for managing to swallow inch after inch of cock year after year. If they weren't as categorically atrocious as they are, the situation wouldn't be this depressing. The Bucs are proof that this can be turned around. It used to happen to them all the time too.
The Devil Rays won 5-2, but lost two out of three in the series.
